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Game seven

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Played Game 7 last night. Here’s how it went down: Home – 90 minutes to game time and I’m seeking answers the universe can’t possibly provide. For example, why did I eat the spicy pizza with extra chili flakes for dinner? Why did I wash it down with a couple of craft beers? Why did I leave my wet gear in my bag to bake in the back of my truck in the hot sun? And will we have enough players tonight or is it going to be a bag skate? No one really knows. Arena – the cluster job begins. Our team is gathered in the hallway like a bunch of lost puppies because our designated change rooms were locked. We spend 15 minutes with our thumbs up our butts waiting for the rink manager to come open them. We finally get into one, but it’s the wrong dressing room. This is a problem which becomes evident later. Change Room – with little time to get ready, the pre-game banter is at a minimum. It’s mostly collective headshaking about the change room mix-up. We gear up and get out to the bench only to see
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Game six

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Played Game 6 last night. Here’s how it went down: Home – 90 minutes to game time, and I’m rethinking my meal decisions throughout the day. The late lunch of leftover curry followed by an early dinner of barbecued hot dogs wasn’t wise. Both delicious, but maybe not on game day. I’m older now and I have a delicate constitution. My pre-game nap is also shortened to 20 minutes, but we have enough guys on the bench tonight so maybe I can snooze between shifts. Doubtful, but dare to dream. Change Room – Why are these rooms so damned hot? We are literally 10 feet away from a giant block of ice and the temperature differential feels like 20 degrees. Sweat is pouring off us. Putting our gear on qualified as the warm-up. It’s gross and it *almost* makes me wish it were winter. Almost. 1st Period – We go to the bench and the lights are off in the arena. No one is around. Are we in the right place? Someone calls the rink manager over and he switches them on. Great, so we have to play tonight…I me
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Game five

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Played Game 5 last night. Here’s how it went down: Home – It’s a special night. The kid is coming and I’m excited for her to watch us play. I check my gear early in the afternoon. My eyes water on unzipping my bag. Clearly it needs some airing out. I spray a liberal amount of disinfectant on it and get it in the sunshine. It should smell pretty good by game time. Change Room – I roll in and sit down to get dressed. My bench mate’s gear reeks like something’s rotting. We all know what hockey stink is. It’s rich and pure, borne over time, and it smells like hard work and effort. But this? No, this is a special kind of foul. I practice breathing through my mouth. The room is relatively subdued at this point. We have 10 guys tonight – two full lines. It’s enough, but on a team where the average age is north of 40, having more is better. Warm-up – We take to the ice and stretch. This is when everyone starts complaining about their ailments. Sore backs, tight shoulders, bad knees, upset tumm
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Game four

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Played (my) Game 4 last night. Here’s how it went down: Home – I check the location of the arena, so I know where I’m going before I leave. The team’s schedule says it’s in north Calgary. Google Maps makes it look closer to Edmonton. It’s literally out in the country. There’s farm pasture right beside the arena complex. I can see livestock. Change Room – I missed the last two games and the team won both of ‘em. Egged on by my teammate and brother-in-law, the entire team claims they won because I wasn’t there. Ha. Ha. Ha. It’s nice to be back with these clowns. Everyone comments on the location. Someone says it’s so far north that he saw a polar bear on the way up here. Another guy says he started driving to the game earlier in the day. Jokers all around. 1st Period – Within the first two minutes we go up 2-0. Well, that’s weird. It’s never happened before. I stifle the urge to think we have it sewn up. Could we win this thing in the first period? A 10-goal differential halts the game.
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Game three

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Played Game 3 tonight. Here's how it went down: Game day minus 1 - Team Captain messages the group chat to say we're down skaters for the game. One guy asks about subs. Some joker reads subs and immediately agrees it's a good idea to bring sandwiches for post-game eats. Someone asks for a cold cut trio. Comedians are everywhere. And still no spares. Driving to the game - Holy Mother of Sweet Baby Jesus it's hot! There's no way the ice will be any good tonight! Also, where the hell is this new arena? Change room - everyone's griping. Team mates are sharing stories on who's experienced the worst heat EVER. It's a game of one-upmanship and there's some total BS flying around. Heads are bobbing enthusiastically as each story gets more dramatic. This one time, it was so hot... 1st Period - We take the ice. Before the first puck drop my defense partner skates over to me and says not to worry about tonight's game. Our goal isn't winning but to skat
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Game two

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Played Game 2 tonight. Here's how it went down: Home - started with a liberal pre-game application of Voltaren. Works well, but I miss the minty freshness of the A535. Change room - it's hot. So hot. Almost tropical. We're packed on the bench like sardines. The heat and the mingling of smells from our gear is eye-watering. Sweating starts again. Somewhere across the room a teammate grunts to bend over and do up his laces. The rink manager stops in again to remind us where to puke. He laughs. Everyone's a comedian. Another teammate tells us he just came from Red Lobster and plowed through the bottomless bucket of shrimp. My money's on him to paint the bathroom first. Next to me, my teammate asks if there's a defibrillator nearby. It's not old man hockey if there isn't at least one heart attack joke. 1st period - opposing team is good. We decide early on that we don't want to play them anymore. They go up 4-0 on us. Energy levels holding. 2nd period -
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First game in eight months...

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Had the first hockey game in 8 months tonight. Here's how it went down: Dressing room - started sweating putting on the gear. In good company as half the team is complaining about being tired at this step already. We're totally going to win Game 1. Warm-up - stretching is good. But are my joints supposed to make clicking sounds? 1st period - take the ice. Remembered to remove skate guards. Legs a bit rusty but off to a good start. 2nd period - why am I tasting my dinner again? Mental note: before the game the rink manager gave us specific instructions on where to puke. I'm prepared just in case. Teammate says he can see through time. Or maybe it's just his head throbbing. We're not sure. We carry on. 3rd period - officially out of gas. Team now collectively talking about where to puke, who's left arm is numb, and does anyone know the signs of a stroke. I guess you could say we're set for our summer season.
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