Off the Ice

Played Game 6 last night. Here’s how it went down: Home – 90 minutes to game time, and I’m rethinking my meal decisions throughout the day. The late lunch of leftover curry followed by an early dinner of barbecued hot dogs wasn’t wise. Both delicious, but maybe not on game day. I’m older now and I have a delicate constitution. My pre-game nap is also shortened to 20 minutes, but we have enough guys on the bench tonight so maybe I can snooze between shifts. Doubtful, but dare to dream. Change Room – Why are these rooms so damned hot? We are literally 10 feet away from a giant block of ice and the temperature differential feels like 20 degrees. Sweat is pouring off us. Putting our gear on qualified as the warm-up. It’s gross and it *almost* makes me wish it were winter. Almost. 1st Period – We go to the bench and the lights are off in the arena. No one is around. Are we in the right place? Someone calls the rink manager over and he switches them on. Great, so we have to play tonight…I me...

Played Game 5 last night. Here’s how it went down: Home – It’s a special night. The kid is coming and I’m excited for her to watch us play. I check my gear early in the afternoon. My eyes water on unzipping my bag. Clearly it needs some airing out. I spray a liberal amount of disinfectant on it and get it in the sunshine. It should smell pretty good by game time. Change Room – I roll in and sit down to get dressed. My bench mate’s gear reeks like something’s rotting. We all know what hockey stink is. It’s rich and pure, borne over time, and it smells like hard work and effort. But this? No, this is a special kind of foul. I practice breathing through my mouth. The room is relatively subdued at this point. We have 10 guys tonight – two full lines. It’s enough, but on a team where the average age is north of 40, having more is better. Warm-up – We take to the ice and stretch. This is when everyone starts complaining about their ailments. Sore backs, tight shoulders, bad knees, upset tumm...

Played (my) Game 4 last night. Here’s how it went down: Home – I check the location of the arena, so I know where I’m going before I leave. The team’s schedule says it’s in north Calgary. Google Maps makes it look closer to Edmonton. It’s literally out in the country. There’s farm pasture right beside the arena complex. I can see livestock. Change Room – I missed the last two games and the team won both of ‘em. Egged on by my teammate and brother-in-law, the entire team claims they won because I wasn’t there. Ha. Ha. Ha. It’s nice to be back with these clowns. Everyone comments on the location. Someone says it’s so far north that he saw a polar bear on the way up here. Another guy says he started driving to the game earlier in the day. Jokers all around. 1st Period – Within the first two minutes we go up 2-0. Well, that’s weird. It’s never happened before. I stifle the urge to think we have it sewn up. Could we win this thing in the first period? A 10-goal differential halts the game. ...

Played Game 3 tonight. Here's how it went down: Game day minus 1 - Team Captain messages the group chat to say we're down skaters for the game. One guy asks about subs. Some joker reads subs and immediately agrees it's a good idea to bring sandwiches for post-game eats. Someone asks for a cold cut trio. Comedians are everywhere. And still no spares. Driving to the game - Holy Mother of Sweet Baby Jesus it's hot! There's no way the ice will be any good tonight! Also, where the hell is this new arena? Change room - everyone's griping. Team mates are sharing stories on who's experienced the worst heat EVER. It's a game of one-upmanship and there's some total BS flying around. Heads are bobbing enthusiastically as each story gets more dramatic. This one time, it was so hot... 1st Period - We take the ice. Before the first puck drop my defense partner skates over to me and says not to worry about tonight's game. Our goal isn't winning but to skat...